Emerging out of impatience
I take myself out of the house and into the moist woods, and unfortunately I have brought my impatience and bad humor with me. I photograph carpets of green lush moss that covers tree stumps and trunks. Its lushness seems in contrast to the very low water in Grassy Swamp stream.
A two-tone green toad hops across the path in front of me and I am sure that he is simply enjoying the dampness and not fretting that yesterday it was dry. A low-battery light in my camera blinks orange and, of course, that adds to my frustration. The tapping of a woodpecker breaks through my litany of complains and I stop to hear more. Perhaps he or she is onto me, because as I stand quiet and still underneath the trees all I hear is the wind. Thankfully, the moment cools and calms me.
I have come to the woods to see if yesterday’s rain has popped up any mushrooms. I ask myself if it is actually mushrooms I am after but rather peace of mind and centering. I balance my journal on my hip and write. Slowly the other sounds of the woods overwhelm my impatience.
I know that what I am bucking against is my distance from spiritual peace and daily practice. Somehow, I allow my daily activities, current affairs and the variety and multitude of things that I want to get done, convince me that somehow I don’t have the time or the energy to apply myself to stillness.
Still the landscape revives me and I remember that I need to make time for reflection, that I have made time for reflection, and for listening to peaceful and soothing voices.
After I finish writing, I head back to the house. I am tired and thirsty, and I have more editing work to do. As I reenter the side yard, I realize that even mushrooms, which pop out of the ground with great haste, take a little bit longer to grow than overnight.
I can only hope that that is true for me.
posted by Laurie Stuart @ 5:30 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Very nicely written. Thanks.
The pictures you paint with words brought stillness and quiet to my soul. Thank you.
Hey Barb,
I'm kind of a neophyte when it comes to blogging. I started into this whole world when I went to seminary four years ago and left the Upper Delaware where I had lived and had been connected with for some 30 years. I thought that blogging my adventures in a new place would keep me connected -- and I guess, for some and especially for me, that was true. At the time.
Now, interestingly back in the Upper Delaware, it's a lot harder to assimilate that my experience actually merits attention, and I tend to write less, because, well, I see folks; I live here. Still, it's really reflection that I'm after and for as much as I am appreciative that people read what I write -- it's really more important that I write -- and that I reflect. I think that our world is so messed up in this moment because people don't reflect on what it going on, especially for them -- so my blogging is really about reflecting. And I appreciate that you comment and that you are complimentary of my process of reflection. Which is all to say, thank you for paying attention and affirming my actions and struggles. I really do appreciate it.
Hi Sissy,
I'm happy to hear that the experience that calmed me in the woods relates to you as well. It's a little like the ripples of a stone in pond. I think it is so important that we all collectively calm down, figure out what makes our souls sings and sing it out. American theologian Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
I am thankful to know that my words, prompted by angst, brought stillness and quiet to your soul.
Whoosh, who could ask for more?
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