Legacy of the Heart

I was disappointed that D. had been discharged from the hospital. I wanted to give her “Legacy of the Heart,” a book by Wayne Muller about the spiritual advantages of a painful childhood. If anyone could use the soothing voice which tells us that we can use painful childhood experiences to grow more fully into ourselves, it was this 18-year-old. With no money, abandoned by her mother as a young teenager, she was proud that she was the first of seven children to graduate from high school.

Joyfully, and a bit defiantly, she told me that she graduated at the top of her class. She had been accepted in a university and was on her way to the first of five degrees that she wanted. The only thing that stood in her way was a strange pain in her abdomen. Perhaps it was a problematic gall bladder, the medical staff didn’t know.

She also knew that she had closed her heart and that it prevented her from getting close to people and would hold her back.

“How can I trust having been through the experiences I have lived through?” she asked.

We laid my Reverie Harp, a small lap harp that produces a beautiful sound no matter how you touch it, on her chest. I asked her to strum the instrument, feel the vibrations in her body and just listen playfully to see if it spoke to her.

She was silent and thoughtful, her fingers brushing the strings gentle. After a few minutes, she stopped, smiled and opened her eyes.

“Well,” I said, “Did you hear anything?”

“It said, “Listen to your heart, your heart is trustworthy,” she replied.

“Wow!” I said.

We talked about intention and affirmation and how it can be helpful to find a four or five word positive phrase and repeat it over and over. She liked the idea.

“I’m going to write this down,” she said. “So I don’t forget it.”

We worked on another affirmation, which she wrote down as well.

I am glad that when I promised her that I would see her again, I said that it was contingent on her being in the hospital. I am glad that I was true to my word.

She had trusted me with her story, her emotions, and had opened her heart to me. She had also given me her wisdom that when we don’t know what to do or how we are going to do it that we can listen to your heart and know that it is trustworthy.

In our moments together, she found her own way to use her painful childhood. She named her own legacy of the heart, and with it I am sure she will be empowered to accomplish all that she desires.